My friend Jim was suddenly admitted to the hospital last week to have an emergency operation on his lung to determine if a discovered tumour was malignant.
I met Jim in college. We shared residency together with three other guys in our first year and then became dual roommates for the rest of our school years. He was a groomsman in my wedding and I in his. We attended the same church, went camping, socialized at each other’s homes, ate, drank and laughed together.
Read MoreThe youngest member of our family was laid to rest approximately 9:00am, Friday, August 16th, 2012.
Maxwell (“Max”) was not born into our family. He was adopted. His first family decided to find a new home for him due to their limited financial resources and scarcity of time. They were simply unable to provide the appropriate care necessary for healthy mental, emotional and physical growth. After some discussion with Max’s parents, in December 2011, my wife Linda and daughter Joanna made the journey to Brampton and there they found Max and adopted him.
Read MoreAs I write my article this month, I do so dockside at our cottage while on two weeks’ vacation. It is unusually quiet, for it is Sunday evening and most of the cottagers on the lake have left to travel home. There are no motor boats cruising the water ways or with those on water-skis, tubes or wakeboards loudly making their presence known to all. And thankfully the jet skis and wave runners have been parked in the boathouses or by the docks. There isn’t a breeze so the leaves cannot rustle in the wind.
Read MoreThere’s no doubt about it, this world is filled with conflict. Whether on the international scene, domestically, provincially, regionally, corporately and individually it appears that we just can’t seem to agree and get along. However, if there is one lesson I have learned in my life it is this:To have a successful journey through life demands one has the ability to manage conflict productively. That doesn’t mean avoiding it, depressing it or aggressively fighting it. It does mean turning conflict into positive outcomes.
Read MoreIt is unfortunate that the members of CMA Ontario are being bombarded with so many confusing messages regarding unification of the accounting profession from sources including our CMA partner organizations, other accounting bodies, the media, various websites, blogs and social media channels. I’ve also received a number of comments and questions directly. As I read all the messages, I wonder how anyone can discern "wherein lies the truth"?
Read MoreIt was 10:00 am, July 1st, 2011, Canada Day. While many were enjoying the birthday celebrations of Canada becoming a nation, my great event was arising from my hospital bed and finally enjoying a hot shower. The nurse greeted me with “It’s time Mr. Hillier”. And so the strenuous process began. A small woman with great sensitivity to my dignity and self-esteem, helped me roll out of bed, stand up, and prepare me so I could shuffle into the shower. Sitting on a stool, while water gently rolled down my body, she took her brush and soap-soaked cloth and scrubbed me clean.
Read MoreI remember when London Life launched its marketing campaign called “Freedom 55”. Its premise was, if you invest with us, by the time you reach age 55, you won’t have anything to worry about. How many people with great anticipation bought into this advertising, only to realize that on their 55th birthday, freedom from worry had not been achieved?
Read MoreThe story has been told of a minister who was prominent in his church order, adopting as his key mission, the issue of poverty, its impact on individuals and families and how it should be reduced if not totally eliminated, especially in such an economically developed and comparatively rich society as North America. The minister made “poverty reduction” the focal point of many of his writings and talks.
Read MoreI own a Jeep Liberty, nick named “Libby”. It was purchased 10 years ago. It has been driven over 210,000 kilometres. As I look at its worn exterior, it reminds me of the places it has been. Libby has transported the kids and mom and dad to and from high school, university, skiing, snowboarding, and the cottage, and to trips to the U.S. and within Canada. It has been a loyal, trustworthy friend. Through the rain, snow, sleet and scorching sun and humidity, it never complained but just ensured its passengers were safe, comfortable and reached their final destination.
What amazes me about spring is that regardless of how brutally hard the winter has been, without exception, the leaves bud, the flowers bloom, the grass turns green and even the weeds (unfortunately) sprout. Winter cannot and does not prevent spring from falling forward!
I’m left with the question then, where do they (the trees, the grass, and the flowers) all get their strength from?
Of course the answer is that within nature itself is a hidden strength that sometimes becomes invisible due to circumstances, but without fail overcomes all the challenges of winter and eventually springs forward, demonstrating to all of creation that nothing, not even the harshest winter, can hide it or prevent it from rising again. It’s an amazing lesson for us all.
Have you ever asked the same question about life?
I know of so many people, that regardless of their difficulties, who are able to “fall forward”. Falling forward simply means that, as was written by some wise individual, “It’s not how many times you fall down but rather how many times you get up that matter”. So for some, the challenges of life may cause them to fall but regardless they are able to summon the strength to get back up and go forward. And there are some who do it over and over again.
Where do such people get their strength from?
Strength to overcome life’s challenges may come from several sources.
Several years ago I was involved in a restructuring of one of my businesses with the Smith Group of Companies. We were close to bankruptcy and I was close to burnout. For many years (after I had been appointed President), I was part of a CEO peer group. Upon my first appointment as President in my late thirties, I believed it was necessary to create an advisory relationship with other CEOs to help me in developing my judgment and decision making as I assumed greater roles and responsibilities. I remember attending one of my CEO sessions, and going into it, I was weary and worn from dealing with such debilitating business issues. I was expecting some pity, sympathy and TLC from my “likeminded CEOs”. What I got instead was a strong rebuke and increased pressure to stay focused on the job at hand. I left that meeting somewhat disappointed and for a while discouraged. Later I spoke with one of my “CEO Buddies”, Sab Ravalli, and he explained it this way.
Sab said it would not have been helpful if all they did was express sympathy and took some pity on the struggles in front of me. Rather, the best support they could provide me given the situation was to help me stay focused, to ensure I was thinking properly, and my judgment and decisions were sound. He explained the difference between “good time friends” and “real friends”. Real friends give, good time friends take. It was easy for me to criticize what they had done since I was not able to see and understand at first the actual support and strength they were providing.
I have never forgotten that lesson from Sab. I have several friends in my personal and professional networks who have helped me stay on the straight and narrow. In times of discouragement, confusion, weakness and vulnerability, the strength that I needed was given by those friends. And of course it would be wrong for me not to say that my wife Linda has been such a great source of strength in my life, more than I ever deserved.
There is an advantage that LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc. provides. As business and social networking sites, it allows me (us) to list and identify all the friends in our network. At any one time I/we can draw on those in our network or we can make ourselves available to those who need real help. I have a site on LinkedIn that has identified hundreds in my professional network. I also have a business Facebook site that identifies some (“a few”) real friends in business. And I have a family Facebook site that gathers all of my immediate family together. If anything, it has shown me that in my network, I can draw on many for strength. It is a great feeling and provides much reassurance since though the joy of spring and summer is upon us, winter will undoubtedly come again.
The challenging part is that much time is required in cultivating good friends and there is a danger that social networking sites cause us to neglect that. Just as a good harvest requires much planting, fertilizing, weeding and cultivating, so does the development of our professional and personal networks or relationships. Remember that technology is intended to be an enabler, not a replacement!
Nature does have a lot of inner strength. But it is amazing what results from a healthy relationship between nature and humans. My garden will grow for awhile unattended, but with my full involvement it will flourish.
The ability to fall forward is very much then dependent on the total sum of your channels of strength. Those who have fallen and get back up quickly and even stronger seemed to have understood that.
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